Poems from Survivors

Honor Thy Children | home

Poems from Survivors

This area is poems written by survivors from all over the world. Some were written by children or teens. Permission was granted by the poets. If you have a poem, or poems to add to this page please contact me at: small_0ne@hotmail.com

The wall of hurt

The wall of hurt grows tall.

Its hard to break away.

Brick by brick has been laid,

After each hurtful day.

The love inside is insurmountable;

For each and everyone.

But the wall of hurt just can't be broken down. Try as I may, I can't let anyone in .

The love will be hurt again and again and again. Its easy to have a wall of hurt,

Its protective in many ways.

But to all of you that I love

I'm sorry it has to stay.

Maybe brick by brick it can be lowered.

Slowly in everyway. So maybe someday

All my hurt will go away.

When I have tried to let you in,

The trust gets broken again.

The wall of hurt is bonded strong.

It would take a long time of loving and caring and understanding to break it all apart. So for now I'll stay the way I am with the love bottled in my heart.

WRITTEN BY: Lynda

NO TITLE:

Many many moons ago;

When I was very young,

We had a loving family,

My life had just begun.

Our family it got torn apart,

Reasons beyond control,

Who was wrong; Who was right.

No one really knows.

Life went on; It did not stop,

I grew up anyway.

I married the man I loved;

My Dad gave me away.

We may not of kept in touch.

Many years have come and gone,

I have two children of my own.

And now they have grown.

Where oh where do all the years go

People get mad; People get sad.

But the love; it never goes away.

Thank god we have Jesus Christ

To take our sins away.

He cleanses out our souls

and he helps on our way.

If he can be so forgiving,

Where did we go wrong.

Forgiveness is a small word,

But very hard to do.

My dear Dad, I have always

forgiven you.

Please forgive me for my mistakes,

I wish we could start anew.

I guess what I want to say.

IS POP I LOVE YOU !!!!!!!!!!!

WRITTEN BY: LYNDA

*TEARS OF A LAMB:

In a damp dark crawl space the little girl hid,

Holding inside every scream that she had,

As she relived all that evil man did,

Her small body still shaking so bad,

She had gone to the smokehouse to check on her lamb,

On a cold, snowing, winters day,

She was only 5 so she couldn't understand,

Why he attacked her and life went astray,

She only felt darkness where she was now,

She just knew she had to hide,

Trying to wash away the pain somehow,

With more tears than she had ever cried,

She knew him so she felt totally betrayed,

She had always trusted him before,

She couldn't move, she was too afraid,

Feeling she would be now forevermore,

For months and months she hid there,

Each time her mom sent her to play out in

the sun,

She really didn't think she had a prayer,

Her life was sure no longer fun,

So she grew up never trusting her heart,

True happiness she just couldn't feel,

It had literally torn her life all apart,

Now only the emptiness seemed real,

She never felt she was special to know,

She never felt smart, never pretty,

To this day she cries whenever it snows,

Probably always will, what a pity.

written by: Debby

PLEASE HEAR WHAT I'M NOT SAYING

Don't be fooled by me... Don't be fooled by the face I wear. For I wear a mask, a thousand masks. Masks that I'm afraid to take off... and none of them are me. Pretending is an art that is second nature with me... but don't be fooled... for God's sake, don't be fooled...I give you the impression that I'm secure, that all is sunny and unruffled with me, within as well as without. That confidence is my name and coolness my game. That the water's calm and I'm in command, and that I need no one... but don't believe me... Please don't... My surface may seem smooth, but my surface is my mask... an ever varying and ever concealing mask... Beneath lies no smugness... no compliance... Beneath dwells the real me... in me confusion... in fear... in aloneness... But I hate this... I don't want anyone to know it... I panic at the thought of my weakness, and I fear being exposed... That's why I frantically create a mask to hide behind... a nonchalant, sophisticated facade... to help me pretend... to shield me from the glance that knows.

But such a glance is precisely my salvation... my only salvation... and I know it... that if that glance is followed by acceptance... and if it's followed by love... it's only acceptance and love that can liberate me... from myself... from my own self-built prison walls... from the barriers that I so painstakingly construct.

It's the only thing that will assure me of what I can't assure myself, that I'm really worth something... but I don't tell you this... I don't dare... I'm afraid to... I'm afraid you will think less of me, and that you'll laugh... and that would kill me... I'm afraid your glance will not be followed by acceptance and love... I'm afraid that deep down I'm nothing, that I'm just no good, and that you will see this and reject me... So I play my game, my desperate, pretending game, with a facade of assurance on the outside and a trembling child with in... And so begins the parade of masks... and my life becomes a front.

I idly chatter to you in the suave tones of surface talk. I tell you everything that's really nothing and nothing of that which is everything, of what's crying within me... So when I'm going through my routine, do not be fooled by that I'm saying... please listen carefully and try to hear what I'm NOT saying, what I'd like to be able to say... what for survival I need to say... But I CAN'T SAY.

I dislike hiding... Honestly I do... I dislike the superficial phony game... I'd really like to be genuine and spontaneous, and me... but you've got to help me... you've got to hold out your hand even when that's the last thing I seem to want or need... Only you can wipe from my eyes the blank stare of the breathing dead.

~Unknown~

*I NEVER SAW IT COMING

I saw the hate in your eyes,

the hurtfulness in your words,

I saw the anger in your voice,

and the meanness of your steps.

and

I stayed.

I saw the gun pointing at me,

and the fear in my heart,

but you still played

with me.

I saw the look on your face

when I stood up

to you.

I saw the chambers were still

full,

I had made sure

they were.

imagine the face I had seen,

when you

found out.

I was crazy he said,

but I didn't

care.

I had taken

enough.

So the bullets came out,

and you put the

gun away.

Funny,

I never saw that coming.

~UnKnown~

"Misty"

My name is Misty

I am but three,

My eyes are swollen

I cannot see,

I must be stupid,

I must be bad,

What else could have made

Made my daddy so mad?

I wish I were better

I wish I weren't ugly,

Then maybe my mommy

Would still want to hug me.

I can'tspeak at all

I can't do a wrong

Or else I'm locked up

All the day long.

When I awake I'm all alone

The house is dark

My folks arent home

When my mommy does come

I'll try and be nice,

So maybe I'll get just

One whipping tonight.

Don't make a sound,

I just heard a car

My daddy is back

From Charlie's Bar.

I hear him curse

My name he calls

I press myself

Against the wall

I try and hide

From his evil eyes

I'm so afraid now

I'm starting to cry

He finds me weeping

He shouts ugly words,

He says its my fault

That he suffers at work.

He slaps me and hits me

And yells at me more,

I finally get free

And I run for the door.

He's already locked it

And I start to bawl,

He takes me and throws me

Against the hard wall.

I fall to the floor

With my bones nearly broken,

And my daddy continues

With more bad words spoken.

"I'm sorry!", I scream

But its now much too late

His face has been twisted

Into unimaginable hate

The hurt and the pain

Again and again

Oh please God, have mercy!

Oh please let it end!

And he finally stops

And heads for the door,

While I lay there motionless

Sprawled on the floor

My name is Misty

And I am but three,

Tonight my daddy

Murdered me.

~Unknown~

poems marked with a " * "

are


	Honor Thy Children \| home What is Abuse? Children \| Links For Children \| What is Abuse? The Elderly \| Links for Elderly \| What is Abuse? Women Survivors \| Links for women \| Poems from Survivors \| Links to Survivors Pages \| Miscellaneous \| Thinking Page \| Contact Me Poems from Survivors This area is poems written by survivors from all over the world. Some were written by children or teens. Permission was granted by the poets. If you have a poem, or poems to add to this page please contact me at: small_0ne@hotmail.com The wall of hurt The wall of hurt grows tall. Its hard to break away. Brick by brick has been laid, After each hurtful day. The love inside is insurmountable; For each and everyone. But the wall of hurt just can't be broken down. Try as I may, I can't let anyone in . The love will be hurt again and again and again. Its easy to have a wall of hurt, Its protective in many ways. But to all of you that I love I'm sorry it has to stay. Maybe brick by brick it can be lowered. Slowly in everyway. So maybe someday All my hurt will go away. When I have tried to let you in, The trust gets broken again. The wall of hurt is bonded strong. It would take a long time of loving and caring and understanding to break it all apart. So for now I'll stay the way I am with the love bottled in my heart. WRITTEN BY: Lynda NO TITLE: Many many moons ago; When I was very young, We had a loving family, My life had just begun. Our family it got torn apart, Reasons beyond control, Who was wrong; Who was right. No one really knows. Life went on; It did not stop, I grew up anyway. I married the man I loved; My Dad gave me away. We may not of kept in touch. Many years have come and gone, I have two children of my own. And now they have grown. Where oh where do all the years go People get mad; People get sad. But the love; it never goes away. Thank god we have Jesus Christ To take our sins away. He cleanses out our souls and he helps on our way. If he can be so forgiving, Where did we go wrong. Forgiveness is a small word, But very hard to do. My dear Dad, I have always forgiven you. Please forgive me for my mistakes, I wish we could start anew. I guess what I want to say. IS POP I LOVE YOU !!!!!!!!!!! WRITTEN BY: LYNDA TEARS OF A LAMB: In a damp dark crawl space the little girl hid, Holding inside every scream that she had, As she relived all that evil man did, Her small body still shaking so bad, She had gone to the smokehouse to check on her lamb, On a cold, snowing, winters day, She was only 5 so she couldn't understand, Why he attacked her and life went astray, She only felt darkness where she was now, She just knew she had to hide, Trying to wash away the pain somehow, With more tears than she had ever cried, She knew him so she felt totally betrayed, She had always trusted him before, She couldn't move, she was too afraid, Feeling she would be now forevermore, For months and months she hid there, Each time her mom sent her to play out in the sun, She really didn't think she had a prayer, Her life was sure no longer fun, So she grew up never trusting her heart, True happiness she just couldn't feel, It had literally torn her life all apart, Now only the emptiness seemed real, She never felt she was special to know, She never felt smart, never pretty, To this day she cries whenever it snows, Probably always will, what a pity. written by: Debby PLEASE HEAR WHAT I'M NOT SAYING Don't be fooled by me... Don't be fooled by the face I wear. For I wear a mask, a thousand masks. Masks that I'm afraid to take off... and none of them are me. Pretending is an art that is second nature with me... but don't be fooled... for God's sake, don't be fooled...I give you the impression that I'm secure, that all is sunny and unruffled with me, within as well as without. That confidence is my name and coolness my game. That the water's calm and I'm in command, and that I need no one... but don't believe me... Please don't... My surface may seem smooth, but my surface is my mask... an ever varying and ever concealing mask... Beneath lies no smugness... no compliance... Beneath dwells the real me... in me confusion... in fear... in aloneness... But I hate this... I don't want anyone to know it... I panic at the thought of my weakness, and I fear being exposed... That's why I frantically create a mask to hide behind... a nonchalant, sophisticated facade... to help me pretend... to shield me from the glance that knows. But such a glance is precisely my salvation... my only salvation... and I know it... that if that glance is followed by acceptance... and if it's followed by love... it's only acceptance and love that can liberate me... from myself... from my own self-built prison walls... from the barriers that I so painstakingly construct. It's the only thing that will assure me of what I can't assure myself, that I'm really worth something... but I don't tell you this... I don't dare... I'm afraid to... I'm afraid you will think less of me, and that you'll laugh... and that would kill me... I'm afraid your glance will not be followed by acceptance and love... I'm afraid that deep down I'm nothing, that I'm just no good, and that you will see this and reject me... So I play my game, my desperate, pretending game, with a facade of assurance on the outside and a trembling child with in... And so begins the parade of masks... and my life becomes a front. I idly chatter to you in the suave tones of surface talk. I tell you everything that's really nothing and nothing of that which is everything, of what's crying within me... So when I'm going through my routine, do not be fooled by that I'm saying... please listen carefully and try to hear what I'm NOT saying, what I'd like to be able to say... what for survival I need to say... But I CAN'T SAY. I dislike hiding... Honestly I do... I dislike the superficial phony game... I'd really like to be genuine and spontaneous, and me... but you've got to help me... you've got to hold out your hand even when that's the last thing I seem to want or need... Only you can wipe from my eyes the blank stare of the breathing dead. ~Unknown~ I NEVER SAW IT COMING I saw the hate in your eyes, the hurtfulness in your words, I saw the anger in your voice, and the meanness of your steps. and I stayed. I saw the gun pointing at me, and the fear in my heart, but you still played with me. I saw the look on your face when I stood up to you. I saw the chambers were still full, I had made sure they were. imagine the face I had seen, when you found out. I was crazy he said, but I didn't care. I had taken enough. So the bullets came out, and you put the gun away. Funny, I never saw that coming. ~UnKnown~ "Misty" My name is Misty I am but three, My eyes are swollen I cannot see, I must be stupid, I must be bad, What else could have made Made my daddy so mad? I wish I were better I wish I weren't ugly, Then maybe my mommy Would still want to hug me. I can'tspeak at all I can't do a wrong Or else I'm locked up All the day long. When I awake I'm all alone The house is dark My folks arent home When my mommy does come I'll try and be nice, So maybe I'll get just One whipping tonight. Don't make a sound, I just heard a car My daddy is back From Charlie's Bar. I hear him curse My name he calls I press myself Against the wall I try and hide From his evil eyes I'm so afraid now I'm starting to cry He finds me weeping He shouts ugly words, He says its my fault That he suffers at work. He slaps me and hits me And yells at me more, I finally get free And I run for the door. He's already locked it And I start to bawl, He takes me and throws me Against the hard wall. I fall to the floor With my bones nearly broken, And my daddy continues With more bad words spoken. "I'm sorry!", I scream But its now much too late His face has been twisted Into unimaginable hate The hurt and the pain Again and again Oh please God, have mercy! Oh please let it end! And he finally stops And heads for the door, While I lay there motionless Sprawled on the floor My name is Misty And I am but three, Tonight my daddy Murdered me. ~Unknown~ poems marked with a " * " are © 2001 All rights reserved